Afraid of Having another Miscarriage?
I usually do not share stuff like this, but I want to take a mini-break from our Biblical perspectives of the Infertility series to share a dream that I had recently which I believe holds a beautiful message for many expectant mothers and fathers, especially those who have suffered from miscarriages.
I had this dream the same night that I had spent over an hour in prayer for many of the women suffering from miscarriages who asked me to pray for them. At the end of my prayer I asked God why so many of his daughters were having miscarriages and what we could do about it, and I truly believe he used this dream to answer that question.
(P.S. I was especially heartbroken for one young lady I had just connected with on Instagram a few weeks prior. She had gone through a miscarriage during one of the hardest times of the year possible. She is also the reason why I decided to write this dream as a blog post, because I just found out that she had a positive pregnancy test, and is filled with fear of another loss and I hope this encourages her).
So enough of me blabbering on.
In the dream, my husband and I were looking out of a window of what seemed to be a waiting room. The room we were in was on the top floor of a building that must have been over 100 stories high. I had a little baby in my hands that I knew to be ours. I stuck my head outside of the window and took note that there were several other windows adjacent to ours, each corresponding to another room.
There was this odd understanding between my husband and I that we needed to climb outside of the window we were looking though in order to transport the baby from the room we were in, to another room that seemed to be was about 10 windows away (although I can not recall exactly how many windows there were).
This meant we had to step out onto the widow sill of the window we were looking through and make our way to each adjacent widow sill, until we reached the intended room we needed to enter.
So I had to somehow horizontally scale a building with a baby in my arm, while being 100 feet up in the air.
My husband took the first step onto the first window sill, and he began slowly inching himself across the window sill until he made it to the very edge. He then reached out his hand so that he could help guide me onto the first ledge also.
So I stepped out slowly onto the ledge with a baby in my right arm. I held the baby very close against my torso like a football while stretching out my left arm against the wall for balance, and I started to inch across the ledge slowly but surely until I made it to the end. (Obviously, there is no way AT ALL that this would be possible to do in real life with a baby ).
I was so afraid because my feet barely fit on the window sill, and I knew that the hardest part would be making the first jump onto the next window sill since there was about a 4 feet gap between each window.
In the dream, I remember the moment when I finally got to the end of the first window sill and had to prepare mentally to make the first jump to the second window and feeling very afraid, but I took the jump, and to my surprise made it to the next window sill.
I was so tired and I recall looking at my husband and at our baby and begging to feel extreme and intense fear of falling, so much so that I felt I would pass out. In that moment, my husband looked at me and perceived my fear and told me we needed to pray.
So he and I began praying together. And when we did, I felt the holy spirit put in my mind that our baby would be okay as long as we didn’t look down at how high up we were and as long as we focused on God's supernatural protection. So my husband and I made sure to never look down and to keep praying.
It was after prayer that our faith was strengthened and we decided to continue inching across the current ledges we were on and then carefully stretching out our feet to the next ledge, and then the next ledge and the next, and the next, praying every step of the way.
Halfway through I remember looking across the row of windows that were left. It seemed there were about 4 more windows at this point, and I was so exhausted, yet I knew that God would keep us safe. I perceived it took us almost 1 hour to make it cross each ledge even though each ledge/ window sill only spanned a length of 4-6 feet.
Nonetheless, we continued to pray and kept moving forward. Finally, I saw my husband make it to the 9th or 10th window.
He eventually made it to the last window and crawled through and by this time I was on about the 8th window or so. He immediately held out his hand to me, and the first thing I did was hand him our baby. Once he safely put the baby down, he helped me get inside.
We had finally made it! The room we were in was familiar, in fact, I knew it to be our home. We both sat there amazed that we had made the treacherous journey without any harm to us and especially our baby.
The End!
Immediately after that, I woke up from the dream.
When I woke up it seemed to be about 4 in the morning, and I could feel God’s presence and I began thinking over each part of the dream.
I believe that each window was indicating each month of pregnancy as there were about 10 windows and pregnancy is a little over 9 months, but I will preface that I am still praying to God for His interpretation of the dream.
However, my understanding was that the idea of being high up in the air without secure footing, represented the dangers and complications that can arise throughout pregnancy or with having an infant over all.
The fact that my husband was with me and lead me to pray, reminded me that although mothers carry the baby, the husband still plays a HUGE role in leading his wife through pregnancy spiritually and physically and should be supporting both you and the baby through prayer daily.
And the biggest takeaway is that fear is the most effective tool the devil uses to gain territory in your life, especially when it comes to the fruit of your womb. When you meditate on fear, you give the thing that you fear the most, the power to happen.
Just like when Peter was walking on the water toward Jesus, he stayed afloat until the second he looked down at the fear of drowning, and when he did, he started to drown.
Likewise, I believe that through this exaggerated analogy, God was sharing the reality that during pregnancy or perhaps during the vital months that follow pregnancy, you may encounter several challenges that seem to threaten the life of your child, but do not fear, keep your eyes and your mind on God and He will protect you.
I know this dream may sound corny, and oddly enough God frequently speaks to me this way and I never share it with people because they are quick to judge. This is also a very unique dream as I my husband and I are a young married couple, and I know that this is not the season for my husband and I to have a child right now, however, I know that this dream was for a time to come for us, and may encourage those who are actively pregnant.
You may be asking yourself, how do you focus on God when you suffered a loss before, or when your doctor gives you scary news?
Well, I know it's easier said than done, but you must meditate on God!
1. Pray without ceasing. And I mean really pray! Get on your knees in a quiet space and ladies cover your head when you pray like we read in the book of Corinthians. Do this daily, asking for God's supernatural protection over the fruit of your womb.
2. Read God’s word out loud. Every time you think of the pain of a previous miscarriage, or every time you fear getting your period, get out the Bible and read passages like Psalm 91 to remind yourself of God’s protection and meditate on that day and night.
3. Ask your husband to pray with you and for you. He should be seeking God privately in the prayer closet as well, laboring for the protection of his wife and the fruit of your womb that he is ordained to lead.
4. Seek for other Christians in your community to pray for you.
5. Worship and praise the lord as an outward profession of your trust in him.
6.Protect your mind from evil. “Whatsoever things are good, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report, meditate on these things” (Philippians). This means to protect your eyes and ears from any form of evil, giving the devil no space to occupy your mind.
That may mean not watching certain shows, not listening to certain music, and limiting your time around certain people.
7. And lastly, have faith. Remember that without faith, it is impossible to please God, and He is a rewarder of those that diligently seek him (Hebrews 11:6). Ask God to increase your measure of faith, and remind yourself daily that he is still the author of miracles.
I pray that this message shows you that God has not turned a blind eye to what pains his daughters and sons are going through, he sees us and he sees the warfare that is against us, but we must truly remember that God is working things together for our good, and is capable of protecting us even when we are afraid.
If you need someone to pray with you please reach out to me via my contact page.
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